“It’s not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.”
Ashleigh Brilliant
This quote really made me smile although it definitely touched a chord when I saw it. Don’t some days just really feel like this?
It made me think about how even on the dark days that seem full of confusion, hurt and doubt, a little humour can change the whole experience of that around.
Perhaps it really is all in how we express it to ourselves, back to that glass half full or glass half empty approach to life? Maybe there is something in that whole ‘smile and the world smiles with you’ kind of approach?
It reminded me of a conversation I had a while ago with someone who does life coaching and she describes how important it is to recognise the way that we have learned to speak to ourselves. When we really explore that it can be quite a shock to realise the kind of words and phrases that we use when talking to or thinking about ourselves. Maybe then it’s not so surprising to know how often we are our own harshest critics and how much our negative way of speaking to ourselves impacts our opportunities for growth and development.
So, what can we do about this?
The most important thing is to learn to be more conscious of inner thoughts and self-talk, and then focus on replacing the negative chunnering with more positive phrases. For example, instead of telling yourself you can’t do something – tell yourself ok I haven’t done this before so what would I need to learn or do in order to manage it? Have I done anything previously that would help me to do this now? What learning or experience can I use to help me to do this? And don’t allow the answer to come back as nothing or none.
Recognise, own, and then refuse to allow your negative self-talk to stop you from finding ways to overcome your problems and challenges. Change the words that you use when you talk to yourself, get rid of the negative vocabulary and work on recognising and owning your strengths. However deep you have to dig to admit them to yourself, we all have them. Every day is made up of a myriad of experiences and it’s important to learn to recognise and appreciate even the smallest glimmer of light and hope so that we can hold on to that and build on it ready for when the going gets tough.
If you would like a little help to explore this for yourself, remember that MitE chaplains are here to help.
You can catch up with me around the duck pond and surrounding areas on most dry Thursday lunchtimes between 12md and 2pm and on the rainy Thursdays, (or if you don’t manage to catch up with me outside), you are very welcome to call me directly on my mobile: 07526 378529 either to chat or to arrange a time to meet. If you prefer you can contact us via email on info@mitechaplaincy.com where you can also request a call-back.
Debbie
We also have a range of resources on our web-site including some that are more specific to the Covid-19 outbreak and some that help in dealing with stress: https://mite.org.uk
If you prefer you can easily keep in touch with us on social media:
Facebook: @mitechaplaincy
Twitter: @mitesthwarr
